When my husband Jonah and I were married we had dreams of a large family. I wanted 6, he wanted 11 and everyone else thought we were crazy! After our first year of marriage we were sitting at lunch one day and Jonah told me he needed to talk to me about something that had been on his heart. I told him that, I too, needed to talk to him about the same. Imagine our surprise when we both believed God to be directing us to foster care when we had never talked about it before. We quickly started the process believing God had called us to foster for a reason. While we were waiting on our first placement from the foster care system we were told, much to our surprise, that doctors gave us a 0% chance of ever getting pregnant. We were devastated and heartbroken.
Two days before Thanksgiving 2003, we got a call about 2 little girls that needed a home for a month or so. We said yes and brought these sweet children into our home thinking that they would be gone shortly. In January, with Sarah and Alana still here, I heard from a friend about a local ministry for crisis pregnancy that gives the moms adoption choices along with parenting. I decided to call and get information.
I had always been told that it takes two to three years to adopt and figured we better start quickly. Boy was I wrong! Within 2 months of submitting our profile we were matched with a birthmother who was married but in a bad situation with the birthfather. We met with her often and were excited to accept our first child into our home! Unfortunately, the situation was a bad one and because they were married, all involved decided it would be better for her to keep the baby so that the birthfather could not get custody of him. We felt like we had been punched in the gut. We had a baby boy room decorated and ready to go, the baby shower had to be canceled and Jonah and I retreated back and grieved the loss. Having our foster girls at home helped so much, as they had still not gone back home.
On July 22, 2004 I woke up early that morning and decided to go into my unknown little boy’s room. I sat in the rocking chair for the first time and cried while I prayed. I asked God where my son was. We were ready for him and even had summer clothes waiting for him to wear! I left the room, shut the door and went on with my day. At 3 o’clock that afternoon I got a call from Lois telling me that there was a little boy born that morning, at the same time I was praying, and the birthmother wanted to meet us! Could we come to the hospital in the morning?
On July 24, 2004 we brought our son Malakai home from the hospital. His birthmother was also married and it was a long and scary process dealing with his adoption. We finalized his adoption on March 29, 2006 after a long 20-month emotional battle. Amazingly, we were also able to finalize the adoption of Sarah and Alana the very same day. We were now a complete family of 5 and we were so happy.
After the adoption of our first three children we still longed for a large family but thought that no birthmother would choose a family with 3 children and yet we were hopeful. We continued to wait for another match. For 2 years we had had the country of Liberia on our hearts and yet I wanted to wait until I had that little baby straight from the hospital before we adopted from Liberia. I just knew that if we adopted abroad we would never be given the chance to adopt another brand new baby again. Jonah was convinced that it was time to go to but I refused. One night in May 2006 he asked me to pray about it because he felt that God was calling us there. That night I woke up in bed burdened to pray about the whole situation and pleaded with God to change Jonah’s mind so that I could have that little baby I wanted so badly. Very quietly I heard God speak to me and say, “If you trust me in this, I will give you that baby straight from the hospital.” The next morning I was making calls about adopting from Liberia.
We requested to adopt a little boy under 2 but when our referral came it was brothers who were 7 months and 3 years old. We didn’t know what to do! When we began the process we had saved enough money for only one adoption but our homestudy had stated 2 (because that is what is advised) and the agency said they believed these to be our boys. We fell on our knees and told God that He needed to make it clear if these were our boys or not because we couldn’t afford 2 adoptions. We did not tell anyone about our financial situation and yet that afternoon my uncle called and told us that he wanted to pay part of our adoption fees. It was very close to what the second adoption was going to cost! We made the phone call and accepted the referral because God came through and made it clear! Six months later we traveled to Liberia and brought Isaiah and Judah home and settled in to bonding as a family of 7.
During the time we waited for our Liberian boys God began to convict me about trying to plan the size and timing of our family. It was a difficult thing for me to accept but I understood that He wanted me to trust Him and who better to trust than the Lord of Lord’s who has our best in mind! So, when Lois called us 5 months after we came home telling me that there was a birthmom interested in our family my first question to her was, “Doesn’t she realize we have 5 kids?” Lois told me that is one of the reasons she liked us!
We met with her and learned that the situation was another tricky one. She was married to the birthfather and we needed to pray about it and make sure we wanted to deal with this type of situation again. Both Jonah and I felt peace about it and moved forward knowing that, even if we were only able to love and care for this child for a short time, we could do it with all our hearts. Justus was born into this world on a rainy December day in 2007 with Jonah and I in the room to welcome him. It was the most precious thing I have ever been allowed to witness and I will forever be thankful to his birthmom for that blessing to us. The whole time I kept hearing God’s promise to me over and over in my head. He is faithful! Justus’ adoption was a long haul but he is worth every agonizing day when we wondered what was going to happen.
In February 2010 we were unexpectedly called by Lois to let us know that she had shown our profile. I was confident that we would not be chosen though so I just put it in the back of my mind and moved on. The next day, Lois called to tell me that the birthmom wanted to meet us! After meeting with her a few weeks later, we were asked to parent her baby. Canaan is such a blessing to our family and our children adore him.
Jonah and I don’t know what God has planned for our future but we have learned a lot in our 7-year quest with adoption. The most poignant thing is that God knows our desires and He knows what is best for us. It can sometimes be very painful and scary to trust God but in the end He has shown His faithfulness and sovereignty to us time and time again.
If you'd like to get more information about adoption, please contact me! I LOVE to talk adoption!
