Our Christmas was fabulous! My parents, Brother, sister-in-law and niece came to visit for 5 days. We were all crammed in our house but it was so cozy and fun and we had a blast! We gave the kids a Wii for their present and the rest of the family gave corresponding gifts to go with it. We are thoroughly set for a while and having a lot of fun with it.
Yesterday I had a lot planned for the day but it got completely stopped due to some major freezing(and snow). I got up early, took my shower and then sent Sarah to take hers but in the middle of her shower Judah came to get me saying that the water stopped. She had her hair full of conditioner and there was NO water in the house at all, our pipes at the well had frozen. I am not even sure how in the world I was able to take a shower! I was able to pool enough water to barely wash out her hair from the kids water bottles, hahaha. I was hopeful that I was going to be able to leave and get my errands done, however, the car was frozen shut solid.
Seriously.
And, being that there was no water anywhere there was nothing we could do! How frustrating! Sheets of ice were everywhere and it was SO cold! Thankfully, we had a nice warm house(albeit, without water) to play in with our new present.
This morning is just as cold and frozen. Fun.
Friday, December 31, 2010
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
A Liberian English Christmas Story
I posted this back in 2006 and thought I would repost since we are so close to Christmas. It was recieved by ELWA in 1967. This will be my last post until next week as my family is coming in to town so a very Merry Christmas to you all! Remember to cherish your family well and enjoy this beautiful season of remembering the ultimate gift of God's Son to us.
Every Man Heart Lay Down"
Long time past - before your father live - before his father live
Before his father's father live - long time past
Before them big tree live - before them big tree's father live
That time God live.
And God look on the world - that He done make
And Him heart no lay down.
And He walk about in the town to see the people.
And He sit down in the palaver house to know the people.
And He sorry too much.
And God say "The people no hear My Word.
The people no walk My way. Nev mind.
All I can do is make a new country - and make new people."
And this time God's one small boy - Him small child
Hear God's Word, And the child grieve for people and for His Pa.
So he go for God's face and make talk for His Pa.
"Pa, I come for beg you," so He say,
"I come for beg you; Don't make the new world.
Don't lose the people what you done care for. I beg you.
Make it I go, I talk to people. I walk with people. Bye-m-bye
They savvy the way."
And the child go down softly softly and hold God's foot. (i.e. begged Him)
So God look on Him small boy. And Him heart be very soft. And God say,
Left me now, but hear me good; If you go you must be born like a man
You must live like a man - and you must have hurt and have hunger.
And hear me good; men will hate you and they will flog you, and
Bye-m-bye they will kill you, and I no going put my hand there." (i.e. interfere)
And the Child say, "I agree."
And bye-m-bye God call Mary to be Ma for the child.
Now Mary be new wife for Joseph and Joseph ain't touch Mary self.
So first time Joseph vex. But God say, 'Nev min', Joseph; this be God palaver.
And Joseph heart lay down.
And God see one king who try for do good for all him people.
"Ahah, now I send my Son for be new king."
And God send star to call the king.
And in a far country, God hear a wise man call his name.
And God say to the wise man, "I send my Son to be new wise man;
Go now with the star." And the star call. And the wise men follow.
And by the waterside - men lay down to take rest.
And they hear fine music in the sky like all the stars make song,
And they fear. And all the dark make bright like day.
And the water shine like fire. And no man can savvy.
And they hearts turn over. But God's angel come,
And God's angel say, "Make glad, all people,God's child be born in Bethlehem."
And the star come low and stop. But when they go for mansion house
The star no be there. And when they go for big man's house,
The star no be there. And bye-m-bye when they go for hotel,
The star no be there gain - "Ahah, the star be by the small house
Where cattle sleep! " And it was so.
And they found Joseph and Mary and the small child fold up in country cloth.
And the king bring gold for gift
And the wise man bring fine oil
And the country people bring new rice.
And they look on the God child
And every man heart lay down.
Every Man Heart Lay Down"
Long time past - before your father live - before his father live
Before his father's father live - long time past
Before them big tree live - before them big tree's father live
That time God live.
And God look on the world - that He done make
And Him heart no lay down.
And He walk about in the town to see the people.
And He sit down in the palaver house to know the people.
And He sorry too much.
And God say "The people no hear My Word.
The people no walk My way. Nev mind.
All I can do is make a new country - and make new people."
And this time God's one small boy - Him small child
Hear God's Word, And the child grieve for people and for His Pa.
So he go for God's face and make talk for His Pa.
"Pa, I come for beg you," so He say,
"I come for beg you; Don't make the new world.
Don't lose the people what you done care for. I beg you.
Make it I go, I talk to people. I walk with people. Bye-m-bye
They savvy the way."
And the child go down softly softly and hold God's foot. (i.e. begged Him)
So God look on Him small boy. And Him heart be very soft. And God say,
Left me now, but hear me good; If you go you must be born like a man
You must live like a man - and you must have hurt and have hunger.
And hear me good; men will hate you and they will flog you, and
Bye-m-bye they will kill you, and I no going put my hand there." (i.e. interfere)
And the Child say, "I agree."
And bye-m-bye God call Mary to be Ma for the child.
Now Mary be new wife for Joseph and Joseph ain't touch Mary self.
So first time Joseph vex. But God say, 'Nev min', Joseph; this be God palaver.
And Joseph heart lay down.
And God see one king who try for do good for all him people.
"Ahah, now I send my Son for be new king."
And God send star to call the king.
And in a far country, God hear a wise man call his name.
And God say to the wise man, "I send my Son to be new wise man;
Go now with the star." And the star call. And the wise men follow.
And by the waterside - men lay down to take rest.
And they hear fine music in the sky like all the stars make song,
And they fear. And all the dark make bright like day.
And the water shine like fire. And no man can savvy.
And they hearts turn over. But God's angel come,
And God's angel say, "Make glad, all people,God's child be born in Bethlehem."
And the star come low and stop. But when they go for mansion house
The star no be there. And when they go for big man's house,
The star no be there. And bye-m-bye when they go for hotel,
The star no be there gain - "Ahah, the star be by the small house
Where cattle sleep! " And it was so.
And they found Joseph and Mary and the small child fold up in country cloth.
And the king bring gold for gift
And the wise man bring fine oil
And the country people bring new rice.
And they look on the God child
And every man heart lay down.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
These children
These children make my heart swollen with love.
These children are pieces of my heart in human form. Sigh.
These children will never understand what a gift they are to me. Ever.
These children make me smile. They make me happy. They make me laugh.
And this baby? Oh my! Look at that face! And that hair! There are no words.
Monday, December 20, 2010
All I really want for Christmas
Oh Lord, there is so much more I can do! I look forward to the time the big house is built so that the size of our home will no longer limit the amount of children we are "allowed". My heart is burdened deeply. I hope your's is too.
Friday, December 17, 2010
Big Families & How They Do: Christmas
In our house, Christmas isn't much different from other families but I'll still tell you how we do things;)
The day after Thanksgiving we trek out as a family to find our tree. We cut it down ourselves, of course. Then we spend the day decorating and watching Christmas movies. This year we were all sick and so we had to delay that day for a week or so.
The kids help put the ornaments on the tree and we all talk about each one as they are unwrapped. We have quite a few that are very sentimental to us and it's always fun remembering why and when we got them. It's funny but my kids LOVE the ornaments Jonah and I got in rememberance of our wedding. The rest of them are firemen ornaments because in our early marriage everyone thought it was a great idea to get us firemen ornaments. I guess you could call that the "theme" or our tree.
On Christmas Eve we read the story of Jesus' birth but this year the kids, Jonah and I are going to be performing it for my parents, brother's family and Jonah's parents. The kids are beyond excited and each child has a part to play. It'll be fun!
Christmas morning Jonah wakes at the crack of dawn, makes coffee, puts all the Christmas lights on and then does some crazy thing to wake the rest of us up. It usually involves lots of loud singing, some clapping and yelling. Actually, now that I think of it that doesn't happen just on Christmas. Anyways, we all roll out of bed and the kids open their stockings, which they adore! Funny how they love to get new underwear, socks, a bit of candy and an orange. I think sometimes they like opening their stocking better than their gifts!
Presents come in 3's(for the 3 gifts that were given to Christ at his birth). This year the kids are getting one BIG present together and then 2 more little one's each to open.
I love Christmas:)
Ginger over at Clark Chatter asked this question for her blog carnival on large families. Check her out!
The day after Thanksgiving we trek out as a family to find our tree. We cut it down ourselves, of course. Then we spend the day decorating and watching Christmas movies. This year we were all sick and so we had to delay that day for a week or so.
The kids help put the ornaments on the tree and we all talk about each one as they are unwrapped. We have quite a few that are very sentimental to us and it's always fun remembering why and when we got them. It's funny but my kids LOVE the ornaments Jonah and I got in rememberance of our wedding. The rest of them are firemen ornaments because in our early marriage everyone thought it was a great idea to get us firemen ornaments. I guess you could call that the "theme" or our tree.
On Christmas Eve we read the story of Jesus' birth but this year the kids, Jonah and I are going to be performing it for my parents, brother's family and Jonah's parents. The kids are beyond excited and each child has a part to play. It'll be fun!
Christmas morning Jonah wakes at the crack of dawn, makes coffee, puts all the Christmas lights on and then does some crazy thing to wake the rest of us up. It usually involves lots of loud singing, some clapping and yelling. Actually, now that I think of it that doesn't happen just on Christmas. Anyways, we all roll out of bed and the kids open their stockings, which they adore! Funny how they love to get new underwear, socks, a bit of candy and an orange. I think sometimes they like opening their stocking better than their gifts!
Presents come in 3's(for the 3 gifts that were given to Christ at his birth). This year the kids are getting one BIG present together and then 2 more little one's each to open.
I love Christmas:)
Ginger over at Clark Chatter asked this question for her blog carnival on large families. Check her out!
Thursday, December 16, 2010
The new gate
The front of our property is finally closed up to keep the kids, a future dog and animals in and random neighborhood dogs out. We are so excited to get a dog in the spring when it gets warmer but still haven't made the final decision on the breed of dog or whether we should just go to the pound and choose one.
Lookin' good, isn't it? :)
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Laundry
Disclaimer: This is not my laundry pile, mine is usually much worse;)
Laundry seems to be consuming my every waking moment these days and so my blogging has been a bit sparse. I'm sorry. Between muddy play clothes, dirty towels, Jonah's work clothes and cloth diapers it is all I can do to keep up with the laundry. I do laundry almost every day and I find myself wondering how in the world the Duggar girl in charge of laundry isn't confined to the laundry room all day long.
Good thing I don't mind doing laundry and my kids put away their own stuff. Makes it much easier, don't ya think?
Sunday, December 05, 2010
Our Adoption Journey: Part 5 and a birthday
This is going to be a really long post as I copied and pasted bits and pieces of Justus' story here that I had written in the past. Today is his 3rd birthday and we could not be more blessed with this little boy! He brings many, many smiles to all of us every single day and we love him dearly. Shosho, it you're reading this, thank you from the bottom of our hearts for the gift of this precious child. We could never thank you enough.
In July, when we came home with Isaiah and Judah, we called the woman who runs the adoption ministry we were placed with Kai from to tell her that we didn't want our profile shown anymore as we were going to chill for a year or 2 and just enjoy our family. We were content and happy with our family of 7. Finally, I was at peace with our family size.
In early November I got a phone call from my facilitator saying "I know you didn't want to adopt again right now but I have a birthmom that wanted to place her baby with a large family and there are some concerns with the birthfather that I know you can handle. Can I show her your profile and tell her about you guys?" I talked to Jonah and then told her that it would be fine to show her our profile thinking that there was NO WAY any birthmom would choose a family with 5 kids, thinking a large family to most people is 2 or 3 kids. Well it turns out she did choose us because she has 5 kids and she thought it would be so cool that this baby would be #6 in his birthfamily and #6 in his new family! Blow me down! Another crazy thing is that when we met I didn't know if she knew about our Liberian boys because our facilitator didn't know all the details, just that we had 5 kids. I was a little worried that she would not like the idea of her child being a brother to 2 little African boys. Turns out that 4 of her children are biracial(black/white). We laughed about how perfect of a match this was.
Jonah and I weren't sure that this was something we wanted to do because of the birthfather issues(we'd been through that before) and, hey, we already had 5 kids! We prayed long and hard, met with her, talked with our lawyer about the birthfather issues and came away feeling peaceful about making this baby a part of our family. As we were driving home from our LONG weekend I remembered God's promise to me, that I would bring another baby home from the hospital. I started weeping at how good God is. Isn't He amazing? Something SO inconsequential in the whole scheme of things but still a HUGE desire of my heart and He was giving it to me! Would I have wanted it to be so close to bringing the boys home, no, but was I going to complain about it? No way! God is faithful!
Just a week old and so cute too!
On Saturday Dec. 1 we got a call at about 7 pm from Shanna that it was time and we should head up. She was having contractions and even though they were irregular she told us that they never were regular with any of her other births either. So, we load up the kids and the last minute things in the car and head to my parents house an hour away to drop the kids off. When we get to my parents house I call her to hear the latest and she tells me that the contractions stopped and it was a false alarm. Talk about frustrating and emotionally charged! So we decide to stay at my parents for the night and then again Sunday night just in case.
On Monday morning we decided to pack up the kids and head home to continue our life as normal as possible until the baby decided to show. When we were just 15 minutes from my parents house Shanna called to say that her water had just broken and she was on her way to the hospital. We turn around, head back to my parents, drop the kids off and head north. The feeling of excitement and anticipation was unreal as we drove to meet our son. Unfortunately, 3 hours into the 8 hour drive we got a phone call from Shanna's mom saying that it wasn't her water that broke but was her losing her mucus plug instead. They were sending her home. After many phone calls and much consideration we decided to continue our drive up and pray that this baby would come VERY soon. He was already 5 days overdue so it wasn't like we were being hasty :)
One year
Monday night we spent the night near Old Town Sacramento which is one of our favorite places to hang out. We began courting there 9 years ago and it is such a charming, fun place to walk around and just be. We ate a nice dinner, held hands and pretended we were on a mini vacation (probably our last) without the kids. On Tuesday we decided we would drive the hour and a half to stay and visit with Jonah's parents. We had a nice time and went to bed early just in case. By this time we weren't expecting anything anymore since we had had 2 false alarms.
That night at 2:23 am the phone rang with Shanna telling us this was it. I was very cautious and told her to call us back when she was admitted. Jonah on the other hand said, "No, way. We are outta here!" We got to the hospital at around 3:30 and Shanna was dilated to 4. With the record of how fast her previous births were we were glad we left when we did, it could be any minute. But, it wasn't. At 6 she was dilated to 6 and we sat in a freezing waiting room while she tried to sleep(those are good memories for Jonah and I). Her contractions were severely inconsistent (just like she had told us at the first false alarm) and babies heart rate was becoming a concern during contractions but things were still happening. The nurse said that if this was her first baby she would have already been having a c-section and that we had better pray that she dilate fast. At around 11:30 she was at 9 and they said it was time to start pushing the last of the cervix away. They wheeled her into the delivery room where she had the audience of Jonah and I and her parents.
Jonah wasn't sure he wanted to be there(we weren't really prepared to be in the room since we weren't supposed to make it for the birth living 8 hours away) but he really wanted to cut the cord and wouldn't be able to unless he was there. The delivery room was nice and big (unlike the labor room where barely 2 people could fit). The doctor was there along with a nurse and 2 nurses for the baby. Shanna pushed for a long time with her mom and I holding her legs. She kept apologizing saying that all her other kids practically slipped out but this one just didn't want to come. His head was a bit cockeyed and was making it harder to come down. He's just as stubborn now as he was then;)
I must butt in here and tell you about the staff at Kaiser. The whole time (minus 2 nurses that may just have been having a bad day) Jonah and I were treated like the parents (imagine that!) with dignity and respect. It was such a huge difference from our experience with UC Davis Med center when Kai was born. The nurses didn't only talk to Shanna, they talked with all of us. They didn't just ask what she wanted, they inquired about our feelings too. They gave us all the information they would have given me if I was on that labor table and most of all, they treated us like normal human beings that were there for a wonderful, beautiful celebration. I cannot tell you just what an amazing experience it was for us through the whole thing. They gave me a bed so that I could stay with Justus and Shanna the first night.
2 years old with his big bro's.
OK, back to the story. Shanna is pushing. I am holding her leg up during each contraction. J's head was coming down, but ever so slowly, all the while his heart rate is going down and staying down. Jonah, being the paramedic that he is, kept giving me these looks and I knew he was concerned. The doctor and head nurse kept saying things in quiet undertones and just when I was about to ask if things were OK she decided to use a vacuum and just get him out of there. So in one contraction she had half of his head out, took off the vacuum and let Shanna do the rest herself.
Now I must say, watching my son's head come into this world was absolutely crazy amazing. I never thought I would get to see one of my children be born, it was something I grieved a long time ago. When his little, perfect face emerged it was facing me all scrunched up and blue, but the most beautiful 3 second face I have ever seen. (alright so it was my only 3 second face but I am sure it was the best!) At first he didn't cry, the nurses in charge of the baby were yelling at the doctor to hurry but she wanted Jonah to cut the cord. Just as she is clamping he lets out this loud cry and my heart just burst with love for this little one I had just met! I cried and I cried(and I'm not a crier!). We followed him to the warmer where he got pink really fast after a little oxygen and rated an 8/9 apgar.
Just looking at my little boy laying there with his eyes wide open trying to figure out what had just happen was surreal. He was just so perfect with the cutest little nose, LONG fingers and toes and lots of black silky hair. He was just beautiful. He really was a beautiful baby and normally I think babies are pretty ugly the first few days (Kai wasn't that great looking at first so I'm not being biased).
Part of our hospital plan was that Shanna would hold the baby first and so I stuck to that even though it killed me when the nurse went to hand him to me and I had to say no and redirect her to Shanna. I really wanted this to be what Shanna wanted since this was the only time she would have with him. After I finally got to hold him, and cried some more, Shanna told me how wonderful it was to see me hold "our" son and she could tell that I loved him already. It's amazing the friendship we have formed through her trial and heartache but things have gone so well with us both.
My big 3 year old boy.
After Justus was born and the nurses were doing their thing with him we just watched in awe with Shanna looking on from her bed. We were told that there were no recovery rooms available and that we would have to wait here for 2 hours and would be moved straight to the mother/baby unit. At this time I had no clue that they were going to give me a bed too, I just thought I would stay next to Shanna and help her with the baby. The delivery room was disgusting with amniotic fluid and blood on the floor, a bloody table with the placenta sitting in a dish and another table with the umbilical cord waiting to have the blood drawn out of it. Amidst all of that it was the most wonderful time. Shanna put the baby in my arms to hold and gaze at. He just stared with his eyes wide and alert (which is something he does, he is the most alert 3 week old I've seen). Then I asked Shanna if she wanted to nurse him. We had discussed this before and both decided it was what was best for Justus. He would get the colostrum he needed and give him a head start on breastfeeding when it came time for me to take over.
It seemed that Shanna cherished this time and the following night with Justus. We had talked about her wanting to spend the day he was born with him to say goodbye, this turned into the whole night and 1/2 of the next day. Amazingly, I wasn't worried about her changing her mind. I trusted her choice and the relationship we had formed and knew that if she DID change her mind it wouldn't have been to hurt me. My basic function was to take Justus from her arms when a nurse needed to check her and to change his diaper. He was latched on to her for most of the night and the next morning.
Justus' present from Jonah's parents. His very own big boy bike!
At around 10 the day after he was born the lactation consultant came to talk to me and we decided that she would come back in 2 hours to help me get started. I talked to Shanna about this and she seemed alright with it all. When it came time for it though, she left in a hurry after handing me the baby and was gone for about an hour. It happened very fast and I think she felt that she had just given him to me for good and her time with him was over, not exactly true but it almost was. Things went well with the LC and Shanna returned to the room. A nurse came in to get discharge going for Shanna and Jonah and I left the room so that she could have some time to say goodbye to him. She cried, I cried. I cannot even imagine what she was feeling. Talk about heartache.
When we came back we learned that even though Shanna was leaving Justus was being admitted to the Neonatal Intensive care unit (NICU) for low platelet levels and high bilirubin levels. We were devastated. Our other 5 children were 500 miles away and we wanted to get home after being gone four days. To make a long story short J was in the NICU so Jonah had to fly back to get the other kids and FINALLY, when he was 5days old, I got to bring him home. It was a LONG drive by myself with a newborn.
Then we were a family of 8. Today Justus is a vivacious, stubborn, happy and loving little guy who adores his baby brother Canaan and his big sister Sarah. This past year has been Justus' best so far as we got his allergies, eczema and asthma under control and he is finally comfortable in his skin, literally. Today Justus and I spent some sweet time looking at pictures of his birthmom and birthsiblings. I'm sure he doesn't really "get" it but he does know he came from "Shanna's bewwy" and he seemed to enjoy looking at pictures. I love that he has access to seeing his birthmom, something none of my other kids have. It's a precious gift that open adoption gives. :)
Our last Adoption Journey installment will be coming up soon. Look for it! :)
In July, when we came home with Isaiah and Judah, we called the woman who runs the adoption ministry we were placed with Kai from to tell her that we didn't want our profile shown anymore as we were going to chill for a year or 2 and just enjoy our family. We were content and happy with our family of 7. Finally, I was at peace with our family size.
In early November I got a phone call from my facilitator saying "I know you didn't want to adopt again right now but I have a birthmom that wanted to place her baby with a large family and there are some concerns with the birthfather that I know you can handle. Can I show her your profile and tell her about you guys?" I talked to Jonah and then told her that it would be fine to show her our profile thinking that there was NO WAY any birthmom would choose a family with 5 kids, thinking a large family to most people is 2 or 3 kids. Well it turns out she did choose us because she has 5 kids and she thought it would be so cool that this baby would be #6 in his birthfamily and #6 in his new family! Blow me down! Another crazy thing is that when we met I didn't know if she knew about our Liberian boys because our facilitator didn't know all the details, just that we had 5 kids. I was a little worried that she would not like the idea of her child being a brother to 2 little African boys. Turns out that 4 of her children are biracial(black/white). We laughed about how perfect of a match this was.
Jonah and I weren't sure that this was something we wanted to do because of the birthfather issues(we'd been through that before) and, hey, we already had 5 kids! We prayed long and hard, met with her, talked with our lawyer about the birthfather issues and came away feeling peaceful about making this baby a part of our family. As we were driving home from our LONG weekend I remembered God's promise to me, that I would bring another baby home from the hospital. I started weeping at how good God is. Isn't He amazing? Something SO inconsequential in the whole scheme of things but still a HUGE desire of my heart and He was giving it to me! Would I have wanted it to be so close to bringing the boys home, no, but was I going to complain about it? No way! God is faithful!
Just a week old and so cute too!
On Saturday Dec. 1 we got a call at about 7 pm from Shanna that it was time and we should head up. She was having contractions and even though they were irregular she told us that they never were regular with any of her other births either. So, we load up the kids and the last minute things in the car and head to my parents house an hour away to drop the kids off. When we get to my parents house I call her to hear the latest and she tells me that the contractions stopped and it was a false alarm. Talk about frustrating and emotionally charged! So we decide to stay at my parents for the night and then again Sunday night just in case.
On Monday morning we decided to pack up the kids and head home to continue our life as normal as possible until the baby decided to show. When we were just 15 minutes from my parents house Shanna called to say that her water had just broken and she was on her way to the hospital. We turn around, head back to my parents, drop the kids off and head north. The feeling of excitement and anticipation was unreal as we drove to meet our son. Unfortunately, 3 hours into the 8 hour drive we got a phone call from Shanna's mom saying that it wasn't her water that broke but was her losing her mucus plug instead. They were sending her home. After many phone calls and much consideration we decided to continue our drive up and pray that this baby would come VERY soon. He was already 5 days overdue so it wasn't like we were being hasty :)
One year
Monday night we spent the night near Old Town Sacramento which is one of our favorite places to hang out. We began courting there 9 years ago and it is such a charming, fun place to walk around and just be. We ate a nice dinner, held hands and pretended we were on a mini vacation (probably our last) without the kids. On Tuesday we decided we would drive the hour and a half to stay and visit with Jonah's parents. We had a nice time and went to bed early just in case. By this time we weren't expecting anything anymore since we had had 2 false alarms.
That night at 2:23 am the phone rang with Shanna telling us this was it. I was very cautious and told her to call us back when she was admitted. Jonah on the other hand said, "No, way. We are outta here!" We got to the hospital at around 3:30 and Shanna was dilated to 4. With the record of how fast her previous births were we were glad we left when we did, it could be any minute. But, it wasn't. At 6 she was dilated to 6 and we sat in a freezing waiting room while she tried to sleep(those are good memories for Jonah and I). Her contractions were severely inconsistent (just like she had told us at the first false alarm) and babies heart rate was becoming a concern during contractions but things were still happening. The nurse said that if this was her first baby she would have already been having a c-section and that we had better pray that she dilate fast. At around 11:30 she was at 9 and they said it was time to start pushing the last of the cervix away. They wheeled her into the delivery room where she had the audience of Jonah and I and her parents.
Jonah wasn't sure he wanted to be there(we weren't really prepared to be in the room since we weren't supposed to make it for the birth living 8 hours away) but he really wanted to cut the cord and wouldn't be able to unless he was there. The delivery room was nice and big (unlike the labor room where barely 2 people could fit). The doctor was there along with a nurse and 2 nurses for the baby. Shanna pushed for a long time with her mom and I holding her legs. She kept apologizing saying that all her other kids practically slipped out but this one just didn't want to come. His head was a bit cockeyed and was making it harder to come down. He's just as stubborn now as he was then;)
I must butt in here and tell you about the staff at Kaiser. The whole time (minus 2 nurses that may just have been having a bad day) Jonah and I were treated like the parents (imagine that!) with dignity and respect. It was such a huge difference from our experience with UC Davis Med center when Kai was born. The nurses didn't only talk to Shanna, they talked with all of us. They didn't just ask what she wanted, they inquired about our feelings too. They gave us all the information they would have given me if I was on that labor table and most of all, they treated us like normal human beings that were there for a wonderful, beautiful celebration. I cannot tell you just what an amazing experience it was for us through the whole thing. They gave me a bed so that I could stay with Justus and Shanna the first night.
2 years old with his big bro's.
OK, back to the story. Shanna is pushing. I am holding her leg up during each contraction. J's head was coming down, but ever so slowly, all the while his heart rate is going down and staying down. Jonah, being the paramedic that he is, kept giving me these looks and I knew he was concerned. The doctor and head nurse kept saying things in quiet undertones and just when I was about to ask if things were OK she decided to use a vacuum and just get him out of there. So in one contraction she had half of his head out, took off the vacuum and let Shanna do the rest herself.
Now I must say, watching my son's head come into this world was absolutely crazy amazing. I never thought I would get to see one of my children be born, it was something I grieved a long time ago. When his little, perfect face emerged it was facing me all scrunched up and blue, but the most beautiful 3 second face I have ever seen. (alright so it was my only 3 second face but I am sure it was the best!) At first he didn't cry, the nurses in charge of the baby were yelling at the doctor to hurry but she wanted Jonah to cut the cord. Just as she is clamping he lets out this loud cry and my heart just burst with love for this little one I had just met! I cried and I cried(and I'm not a crier!). We followed him to the warmer where he got pink really fast after a little oxygen and rated an 8/9 apgar.
Just looking at my little boy laying there with his eyes wide open trying to figure out what had just happen was surreal. He was just so perfect with the cutest little nose, LONG fingers and toes and lots of black silky hair. He was just beautiful. He really was a beautiful baby and normally I think babies are pretty ugly the first few days (Kai wasn't that great looking at first so I'm not being biased).
Part of our hospital plan was that Shanna would hold the baby first and so I stuck to that even though it killed me when the nurse went to hand him to me and I had to say no and redirect her to Shanna. I really wanted this to be what Shanna wanted since this was the only time she would have with him. After I finally got to hold him, and cried some more, Shanna told me how wonderful it was to see me hold "our" son and she could tell that I loved him already. It's amazing the friendship we have formed through her trial and heartache but things have gone so well with us both.
My big 3 year old boy.
After Justus was born and the nurses were doing their thing with him we just watched in awe with Shanna looking on from her bed. We were told that there were no recovery rooms available and that we would have to wait here for 2 hours and would be moved straight to the mother/baby unit. At this time I had no clue that they were going to give me a bed too, I just thought I would stay next to Shanna and help her with the baby. The delivery room was disgusting with amniotic fluid and blood on the floor, a bloody table with the placenta sitting in a dish and another table with the umbilical cord waiting to have the blood drawn out of it. Amidst all of that it was the most wonderful time. Shanna put the baby in my arms to hold and gaze at. He just stared with his eyes wide and alert (which is something he does, he is the most alert 3 week old I've seen). Then I asked Shanna if she wanted to nurse him. We had discussed this before and both decided it was what was best for Justus. He would get the colostrum he needed and give him a head start on breastfeeding when it came time for me to take over.
It seemed that Shanna cherished this time and the following night with Justus. We had talked about her wanting to spend the day he was born with him to say goodbye, this turned into the whole night and 1/2 of the next day. Amazingly, I wasn't worried about her changing her mind. I trusted her choice and the relationship we had formed and knew that if she DID change her mind it wouldn't have been to hurt me. My basic function was to take Justus from her arms when a nurse needed to check her and to change his diaper. He was latched on to her for most of the night and the next morning.
Justus' present from Jonah's parents. His very own big boy bike!
At around 10 the day after he was born the lactation consultant came to talk to me and we decided that she would come back in 2 hours to help me get started. I talked to Shanna about this and she seemed alright with it all. When it came time for it though, she left in a hurry after handing me the baby and was gone for about an hour. It happened very fast and I think she felt that she had just given him to me for good and her time with him was over, not exactly true but it almost was. Things went well with the LC and Shanna returned to the room. A nurse came in to get discharge going for Shanna and Jonah and I left the room so that she could have some time to say goodbye to him. She cried, I cried. I cannot even imagine what she was feeling. Talk about heartache.
When we came back we learned that even though Shanna was leaving Justus was being admitted to the Neonatal Intensive care unit (NICU) for low platelet levels and high bilirubin levels. We were devastated. Our other 5 children were 500 miles away and we wanted to get home after being gone four days. To make a long story short J was in the NICU so Jonah had to fly back to get the other kids and FINALLY, when he was 5days old, I got to bring him home. It was a LONG drive by myself with a newborn.
Then we were a family of 8. Today Justus is a vivacious, stubborn, happy and loving little guy who adores his baby brother Canaan and his big sister Sarah. This past year has been Justus' best so far as we got his allergies, eczema and asthma under control and he is finally comfortable in his skin, literally. Today Justus and I spent some sweet time looking at pictures of his birthmom and birthsiblings. I'm sure he doesn't really "get" it but he does know he came from "Shanna's bewwy" and he seemed to enjoy looking at pictures. I love that he has access to seeing his birthmom, something none of my other kids have. It's a precious gift that open adoption gives. :)
Our last Adoption Journey installment will be coming up soon. Look for it! :)
Friday, December 03, 2010
Big Families &How They Do: Birthdays
My friend Ginger from Clark Chatter has started a blog carnival about large families and how we do things. Today's question is how we do birthdays. Did you know we have a birthday coming up in this house in just 2 days?
The first thing we do each birthday is wake the birthday person up singing to them as a family while I video them. They then sit on their bed and they are asked a series of questions that are the same every year such as their favorite color, food to eat, etc. It's fun to look back and see what they sounded like at a certain age and what their preferences were.
We do "big" birthdays on each child's first, fifth, tenth, thirteenth and sixteenth birthdays. This is something we came up with way before we had so many children and it seems to work well for us. By "big" I just mean a party with friends and family, not Chuck E. Cheese's or the like.
On "non-big" years we make the day a very special day for the child. They get to choose what to eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner and choose a movie to watch that day. They also can choose what they want to do(without costing anything;)) and since most of our birthday's are during the summer, that has been including a trip to the river the last few years. The child is relieved from their normal chores and the rest of us pick up their slack. In the evening Jonah's parents(who live right down the road) will come over and we open presents, eat cake and sing to the honored member.
Wednesday, December 01, 2010
Our Adoption Journey: Part 4
If you have missed the numbers 1-3 installments you can go here to read them. Part One, Part Two and Part Three
So when we had just left off last time we had finalized the adoption of Sarah, Alana and Malakai. Sarah was 6, Alana 2 and Kai 1. We had been waiting patiently for another birthmom to choose us but it just wasn't happening. We met with many different women but we were never chosen. During the time right after Kai was born, and for the next year, we had the country of Liberia heavily on our hearts. I had read an article about the civil war that had wreaked havoc on the people there and my heart was broken for the country and it's children.
At the time, I was set on having 6 children. It was what I had always wanted and we were half way there. Jonah wasn't really set on only 6(he always said 11) but he wasn't pushing another adoption either. "My" plan was to adopt another child through domestic adoption so that I could experience that straight-from-the-hospital-thing once again and then go to Liberia for our 6th child. All I ever talked about was Liberia and I was SO excited to adopt from there. However, it wasn't "time" yet as we still needed to be chosen by a birthmom so that I could have things the way I had planned.
One night Jonah and I sat down to talk and he told me he felt it was time for us to go to Liberia but he was nervous about the cost. I said, no way, because no birthmom would choose a family with 4 children. That night, as I lay in my bed, I woke up and felt the need to pray. I did NOT want to adopt from Liberia at that time because I WANTED THAT BABY STRAIGHT FROM THE HOSPITAL! As I cried and prayed I heard God say gently, "If you trust Me in this, I will give you that baby straight from the hospital." And then, peace.
The next morning I was raring to go and we had our homestudy ready within a few months for one little boy. When our referral came on December 1 (yes, 4 years ago today!) it was for a 3 year old and 7 month old brothers! We weren't sure what to do because we only had the money saved for one adoption. We prayed.
The following day we got a phone call from a family member telling us that they wanted to give us a sum of money for our adoption. The amount was almost exactly what that second adoption was going to cost. We made the phone call and accepted the referral of Thomas and Cassius (pronounced Toe-mah and Cautious in Liberian English)and settled in for the long wait to bring them home.
It was agonizing. We had pictures of them up everywhere in our house and every single day we prayed for them. I longed to hold them and bring them into our family and finally get to meet them! We talked about them all the time and we began to fall in love with these boys even before we met them. Even though I have never been pregnant I liken that time to the time a pregnant mom has during her wait for her baby to be born. The only difference is that the child/ren aren't with you and you have no idea if they are scared or hurting, etc.
In February Jonah made a trip to Liberia to help out in medical clinics and to meet our boys and then on June 5, 2007 I got to meet our sons and we brought them home shortly thereafter. They became Isaiah Ryan Thomas and Judah Matthew Cassius.
The adjustment time into our home was pretty seamless. Isaiah and Malakai took to each other like they had been brother's forever and they still have a very close and special relationship. Judah took a little bit of work as he was very insecure but by wearing him on me I was able to meet his needs and he learned to trust me quickly.
We went from a family of 5 to a family of 7 overnight with 5 little kids who were 8,4,3,2 and 1 and life was full and busy and happy. We were fully content to just chill and enjoy our "large" family but God's plans were a little different than ours. It seems that promise of the baby from the hospital wasn't meant for a few years later(like I would have planned) but just a few months.
That story, next time;)
There are many other entries about our Liberian adoption for you to puruse if you'd like. Just go down to the archives and search December 2006 through June/July 2007
Here's a more recent post with some pictures of us in Liberia.
So when we had just left off last time we had finalized the adoption of Sarah, Alana and Malakai. Sarah was 6, Alana 2 and Kai 1. We had been waiting patiently for another birthmom to choose us but it just wasn't happening. We met with many different women but we were never chosen. During the time right after Kai was born, and for the next year, we had the country of Liberia heavily on our hearts. I had read an article about the civil war that had wreaked havoc on the people there and my heart was broken for the country and it's children.
At the time, I was set on having 6 children. It was what I had always wanted and we were half way there. Jonah wasn't really set on only 6(he always said 11) but he wasn't pushing another adoption either. "My" plan was to adopt another child through domestic adoption so that I could experience that straight-from-the-hospital-thing once again and then go to Liberia for our 6th child. All I ever talked about was Liberia and I was SO excited to adopt from there. However, it wasn't "time" yet as we still needed to be chosen by a birthmom so that I could have things the way I had planned.
One night Jonah and I sat down to talk and he told me he felt it was time for us to go to Liberia but he was nervous about the cost. I said, no way, because no birthmom would choose a family with 4 children. That night, as I lay in my bed, I woke up and felt the need to pray. I did NOT want to adopt from Liberia at that time because I WANTED THAT BABY STRAIGHT FROM THE HOSPITAL! As I cried and prayed I heard God say gently, "If you trust Me in this, I will give you that baby straight from the hospital." And then, peace.
The next morning I was raring to go and we had our homestudy ready within a few months for one little boy. When our referral came on December 1 (yes, 4 years ago today!) it was for a 3 year old and 7 month old brothers! We weren't sure what to do because we only had the money saved for one adoption. We prayed.
The following day we got a phone call from a family member telling us that they wanted to give us a sum of money for our adoption. The amount was almost exactly what that second adoption was going to cost. We made the phone call and accepted the referral of Thomas and Cassius (pronounced Toe-mah and Cautious in Liberian English)and settled in for the long wait to bring them home.
It was agonizing. We had pictures of them up everywhere in our house and every single day we prayed for them. I longed to hold them and bring them into our family and finally get to meet them! We talked about them all the time and we began to fall in love with these boys even before we met them. Even though I have never been pregnant I liken that time to the time a pregnant mom has during her wait for her baby to be born. The only difference is that the child/ren aren't with you and you have no idea if they are scared or hurting, etc.
In February Jonah made a trip to Liberia to help out in medical clinics and to meet our boys and then on June 5, 2007 I got to meet our sons and we brought them home shortly thereafter. They became Isaiah Ryan Thomas and Judah Matthew Cassius.
The adjustment time into our home was pretty seamless. Isaiah and Malakai took to each other like they had been brother's forever and they still have a very close and special relationship. Judah took a little bit of work as he was very insecure but by wearing him on me I was able to meet his needs and he learned to trust me quickly.
We went from a family of 5 to a family of 7 overnight with 5 little kids who were 8,4,3,2 and 1 and life was full and busy and happy. We were fully content to just chill and enjoy our "large" family but God's plans were a little different than ours. It seems that promise of the baby from the hospital wasn't meant for a few years later(like I would have planned) but just a few months.
That story, next time;)
There are many other entries about our Liberian adoption for you to puruse if you'd like. Just go down to the archives and search December 2006 through June/July 2007
Here's a more recent post with some pictures of us in Liberia.
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