A new era is before us

     On January 8, a snarky comment I made on a Facebook post resulted in a social worker calling me that afternoon. As I was saying hello and wondering why a CPS social worker from our county was calling me, my phone alerted me to a text with a friend telling me she had been talking with her social worker about our family and the comment I had made and would be calling me soon. Here I was, with her on the other end of the line, asking me if our family would be interested in taking in a 14 year old girl as a foster placement. I was stunned and confused. You see, in our state, it has been understood that in order to foster kids, we couldn't have so many of our own. Sure, we have plenty of room to house more kids but anyone with more than 6 children couldn't possibly be desiring to foster for anything but the money (huge eye roll here).
     Jonah and I have looked forward to the day when Isaiah turns 18 (technical "adult") so that we could become foster parents once again. It's a calling God laid on our hearts 15 years ago and we knew the time would come for the thumbs up. It seems now is that time and so we have taken the classes(cram courses!), gathered all the paperwork, done the health physicals and TB tests and we wait. We wait for a call from the man who will check our home and say that it's satisfactory and safe. We wait to meet with a worker who will ask us, and our children, way to many personal questions as she/he determines whether we would be acceptable foster parents for children. We wait to have that notification that we are finalized and approved to be foster parents in our county and, of course, we wait for that first call. And the second. And the twentieth.
     We initially said yes to that young girl but that has not panned out. It DID, however, set us on a course for what we've been called to do and has opened doors for us that we believed to be slammed shut. We are both a little stunned at how this has all happened in the past few weeks and changed the trajectory of the next few years we thought were all 'situated'. As we move forward I will be sharing some thoughts and posts about fostering, our children's part in all this and preparing yourself to bring a trauma child home. It's scary and worrisome and a whole lot of work. Is it worth it? Absolutely.

Worst mom ever award

    Every year, as the holidays end, Jonah and I end up finding ourselves in a money crunch as January moves along. Many of our car bills, insurance and other once a year things need to be paid and the squeeze is on.
    I had the absolutely brilliant idea to spread the buying of gifts out over the months preceding Christmas so that our funds were a little more available after December was over. I made my lists and crossed things off. I even wrapped ALL the gifts before December started! I was on a roll! Until Christmas Eve came around and I was organizing the gifts to place them under the tree. This is when I discovered that I had completely forgotten to buy a gift for one son. Like, nothing to open on Christmas day.
    To say I was disturbed is an understatement. I was absolutely horrified that I had actually overlooked a gift for my precious boy. It all worked out in the end but this will go down as one of my major parenting fails. What do you consider your major parenting fail?

A year is over

   A year is a long time to house children that are not yours. We loved, parented, disciplined, held and comforted children that weren't ours for over a year. A year, 2 months and 21 days, to be exact. After a holiday visit that CPS required, the children were held by their father and there is nothing anyone can do about it. They will not be returned.

  I find myself in mixed emotion daily. Having 3 less children makes for a MUCH quieter house and peace to allow me to get tons of projects done, homeschool my children and spend quality time with each. If I'm honest, it's been very pleasurable, almost to the point of guilt. On the other hand, we had just begun telling people we had 10 kids when they asked (after a year, it seemed silly that we only said 7), we were just beginning to get into the groove (truly) of having 3 extra little ones, we bought a new car to seat us all. Things were getting "easier" and more fun and the kids were beginning to really take to heart that the "visiting" kids weren't leaving anytime soon. We knew they would never become Winger's but that was OK. We loved them, they loved us. We wanted them returned to a safe home once their mom was able and CPS said they could return.

   Today I found myself telling one of the kids to make sure to throw something away because, "I don't want it on the floor where A can put it in his mouth." That child reminded me the baby was gone now. I spent this weekend cleaning and organizing the crib, pack and play, stroller, high chairs, baby gate play area, toys, clothes and shoes and getting them ready to be packed away, given back or donated. My house is clean and organized and it's wonderful but, they are not here. That's hard. And painful. And sad. I pray multiple times a day that they are safe and fed and loved and hugged and heard. This is the hardest part. I know they are not. This is what hurts the most. Not the missing them or wanting their sweet smiles or cuddles. It's the not knowing. The wanting-to-protect-them-but-you-can't and praying CPS will do their job and  keep them safe. I just need to know they're safe.

***we were not foster parents and in the system. This was an odd gray area that we were working to figure out.

This last year

 

 

 

In the last year there has been a lot that has happened! We've had children turn 15, 12, 11, 10, 9, 7 and 4 years old. How is it they grow up so fast!?

 

 

We've had to deal with the terror that is student driving and permits. Oh my! I do not know how I am going to deal with this 6 more times! Luckily, Sarah is very responsible and has a healthy dose of fear about driving. There are a few other children that will not be quite as slow and calm, I'm sure!

 

We have sold off all our cows but one Mama and 2 calves and have stopped milking until next year. Its been such a nice break! The reason we stopped milking is because we have started the GAPS diet as a family(minus Jonah). In my attempt to help a few of my children with health issues(asthma, allergies, bedwetting, anxiety) we went hard core and cut out all grains, beans, starches and dairy to help heal our guts. We have seen some improvements in different areas for different kids(and me, I've lost 22 pounds(gasp!) and have energy I've haven't had since high school) but, since it's a long term way of eating(2 years), we are still in the process. I also started using essential oils to help move us away from the drug store junk and have found some amazing oils that help with many things. I love them so much, that I became a Young Living distributor so that I can get a wholesale discount and utilize their loyalty program. :)

 

Over a year ago we sought the help of an amazing therapist for one of our children because of some serious issues. We were so blessed to find someone close by who was a Christian and specialized in adoptive families. This led to a RAD(Reactive Attachment Disorder) and anxiety diagnosis. Things had always been hard with this certain child but it got progressively worse over 2012/2013 until every single day was hell and our family was floundering. We are SO very thankful for the help and healing that occurred over the time we spent in therapy. The weekly, agonizing sessions were well worth the time and money! This child is healing and moving forward and their future(and our family's) is looking brighter!

 

Because of the above said challenge, I TRULY believe God placed us in this tiny home to 1)allow me to be present all the time. There is no place to hide with 9 people in a 1,200 sq. ft. home and my children needed me there at all times to see and hear all and 2) keep the prospect of adding another blessing to our family unavailable for that time. I needed to be focused on the problem at hand and not focused on a wee, precious babe. Not only did the child need me 24/7, my other children were dealing with trauma issues because of what was going on every second in our home. God is so miraculous the way He protects us sometimes, isn't He?

 

As things got better(which they are not perfect but there is not constant strife and rage, thank God!) we decided to move forward on our goal, 5 years ago, to add on to this house. So, we submitted plans to the county and, within a month from now, should be breaking ground to add on another 2,600 sq. ft. I'm excited to share the process with you all!

 

 

Hawaiian dreams

First off, I cannot figure out how to post new pictures on blogger with my iPad, so I'm sorry this won't be accompanied by photos.

I am posting from the Big Island of Hawaii right now as we live the dream we've had for 8 years to bring our whole family to our Hawaii house for a vacation. It's taken us that long to make it work, save the money, organize cows births/milking/calves, find someone to take care of the farm, etc. Our trip will be 30 days long by the time we reach home and I can't believe how very blessed we have been to have the opportunity with our kids.

This year is set up to be one of our craziest and busiest, for many reasons, and having this time together to explore and find adventure every day has been precious! We have swam and swam (and swam some more), hiked into a volcano, seen lava bubbling and spurting, gone to fun cultural festivals, jumped cliffs at the very bottom of the U.S., eaten good food, tried new foods and SO much more!

I look forward to sharing some pictures once we return home and I can download them with my laptop. Stay tuned!

Back to the normally scheduled program

Do you all remember this picture? Look at how small they were! This is about to happen again.

I have so much to tell you after a full 2 year break but I'll give you an overview so that you have something to look forward to. A lot has happened, a lot has changed, we have grown and hurt and learned as a family and I finally feel the courage and strength to get things back to "normal".

We have spent the last 2 years dealing with, what can only be equated to, a living hell in the form of RAD(Reactive Attachment Disorder). Sounds harsh? You have NO idea. It was a long time coming(3 years?) before we realized what the problem was and , by Gods grace, we are overcoming!  I will be sharing more on this and what has helped this child begin healing. Things are, by no means, perfect but they are getting better.

We are about to add on to our little 1,200 sq. ft. house because 1) Canaan and Justus won't be able to share a bed when they're teenagers ;) and 2) we feel the call to make ourselves available for more orphan/Safe Families/adoption/moms in crisis ministries. Gods timing is perfect and I truly believe God allowed us our time in our little house to be longer than planned because he knew the challenge we had in store of working through a RAD diagnosis.

Almost a year ago our family, out of desperation, sought to learn more about essential oils and see if it could help me(and the RADish) with anxiety and get Justus off his arsenal of meds for asthma and allergies. Those that know me well know that I am a researcher in all parts of my life. The results I found led me to become a Young Living distributor and I LOVE my oils and the results I have seen from them. We use them for much more on a daily basis and they are an intregal part of the way we live.

Our little farm, during all the chaos, was seriously downsized to a much more manageable size. We now have 3 cows(instead of 11!), 5 sheep, 4 turkeys, 2 piggies, lots of chickens and 3 Muscovy ducks. Last year we enrolled our kids in 4H and they showed in poultry last year. Isaiah's chicken, Lola, won Reserve Best in Show! We are all excited to see what this year brings.

The last thing, although I'm sure I'm missing something, is that we have been doing the GAPS diet as a family to try and heal Justus' gut. I have, in my research, learned that many of the issues we have, can be helped or cured by healing our guts flora. We have seen some results but have a ways to go(another year or so).

I'm excited to start writing again and sharing what's on my mind. I think Jonah will be happy because I can get out all my "talking" needs again by writing! Hahahaha!

On birth mom's

This is such a sweet picture to me. This is Canaan smiling at a song his birth mom, Nika, played for him before she said goodbye.

This is going to be a very vulnerable post for me to write. I have so many thoughts swirling around in my head and I hope I can write them down effectively.

My idea of birth moms did not start off very well. Without sharing details, the girls' birth mom was filled with hatred against us no matter how hard we tried to be kind and keep her updated on her girls' lives. When we found out about our infertility and decided to go the adoption route, birth mom's scared us silly. Open adoptions were fairly new to our way of thinking and as we sat through the meetings and continued to hear this term, we were adamant we would only do the bare minimum in sending letters and pictures. This was a decision and position filled with FEAR. It wasn't about what was good for the child and it certainly wasn't thinking about what was best for the birth mom. It was about US and our grief over our infertility and not wanting to share OUR child with someone else. As I write that it looks so silly! Without a birth mom's choice to GIVE us her child we would be childless! Anyways...

When we got the call that Malakai had been born we had only an hour to decide whether we wanted this baby boy to be ours. It was crazy! Kai's birth mom only wanted updates through letters and pictures sent to the ministry we used and she would pick them up periodically. It was "perfect". When we brought Malakai home and fell in love with him I wanted SO badly to show this beautiful boy off to the woman that chose life for him and my letters gave little details about the little boy he was becoming. For whatever reason, when Kai was about one, she decided to stop picking up the packages, wouldn't leave an address and changed all her numbers so that the ministry contact could no longer get ahold of her. For a while, I was a little happy. I was glad there wasn't going to be any competition but after a short time the craziest thing began to happen. I was SAD that this woman was missing out on our sons life. I was SAD that Kai would not have access to her to write her a letter or see what she looked like.

Isaiah and Judah's birth mom was dying when she walked 2 days through the bush to bring them to the orphanage. Her husband had died when she was pregnant with Judah and she had a difficult decision to make. My heart broke for her! Yet another woman choosing life for her children because she LOVED them. No selfishness involved but MUCH heartache and tears, to be sure. God was softening my heart(and weeding out the selfishness) to appreciate the sacrifice and love these women had in choosing to place their children.

The woman who seriously changed my idea about birth moms was Justus' birth mom, Shanna. We were not looking to adopt again so soon after Liberia but she asked to meet us, so we went. She was funny and open and personable. After that first meeting she knew she wanted us to be Justus' parents but WE had to decide if this decision was right for us( there was a lot of legal stuff involved and it was a hard adoption and we weren't sure it was the right timing). She wanted phone calls and letters and pictures and that was a lot more than what we had done before, I wasn't sure I wanted to talk on the phone or have Justus talking on the phone.

I got a phone call one day from Shanna and she said simply, "Listen to this." As I listened, my sons heart beat through the phone and I started crying. Amazing. Then she handed the phone to the doctor so she could tell me how things were going with the baby and Shanna, just as if I were in the room. Through her hard decision she was thinking about ME. I felt normal somewhat. I had heard my babies heartbeat before birth, just like any other mom. Normal. Shanna made that happen.

Miraculously, we were able to attend the birth and be IN the room when Justus was born. It was THE most amazing thing I have EVER experienced watching my child come into this world and take his first breath. It was something I never thought I would get to experience and it was so, so precious. Then, after Shanna had held Justus and cuddled him and nursed him(all things we had agreed on) she turned to me, looked me in  my eyes and said, "Would you like to hold your son?"  The following day I saw the grief, heartache and pain that came with a birth mom saying goodbye. I was crushed. I was broken. I was torn. Such sadness to contend with from one woman and yet such happiness and joy I felt at a son being born!

As the weeks drew on Shanna and I talked on the phone often. She loved how content Justus always was when she called. We talked about Justus and our lives and we became friends. Those phone calls eventually ended as she moved on with her life but we still keep in touch periodically. Today Shanna and I are Facebook friends, she is married and there is such comfort in knowing that if Justus wants to know more about her, all I have to do is send her a FB message. It comforts me that I can give that to Justus. He knows what Shanna looks like. He knows that he is a exact male replica(it's crazy!) of his biological sister. He knows he has 3 1/2 brothers who looks like 3 of his brothers. He KNOWS.

 You see, Malakai and Isaiah are at that age where they are wondering more. There is very little I can tell them. No picture to show. They hurt over it and, because of that, I hurt. I have found Malakai's birth mom on FB but hesitate to contact her. She has her reasons why she cut contact. I tell Kai it was because it was too hard for her. I tell him that she knew he was safe and taken care of and that was good enough for her but... I really don't know.

And now we come to Nika, Canaan's birth mom. This young woman has had a hard life. When she fell pregnant with Canaan she truly had no other choice than to place him. She had no job, no where to live, nothing. The foster care system had left her without anything and at 22 she was still struggling to make something out of nothing. I honestly, to this day, don't understand why she chose us as her family. She says it was because she thought having lots of brothers and sisters would be fun. She says she wanted white parents because those were always the nicest foster parents she had. It still boggles my mind a little. I think it's because God knew that this young woman would be sanctifying to ME. I have come to love this woman for who she is, despite the fact that her life is FAR different than mine has ever been. I have chosen to make her a part of my life and she calls me when she is desperate. I have done everything I can to be there for her. I care about her deeply.

Nika changed EVERY single conception I had about birth moms. Her choice was one of the hardest of all. She was not supported. Her friends and community ostracized her and was angry at her decision. They said some VERY mean and hurtful things to her and still do after TWO years. They really don't understand. And yet, she still chose life. She still chose the best for Canaan. In the beginning I saw Nika often. It was hard for me, I won't lie. The adoption wasn't final and there is always a sense of vulnerability when that is the case. She has made some really bad decisions in the last 2 years and it is hard for me to watch. However, we have built up a relationship where I can tell her TRUTH and she won't run away.

Most of all I know that the periodic times we get together are building GOOD things in Canaan. There will be no questions that will go unanswered because I was finally willing to step out of my comfortable box and be a little uncomfortable for a while. I thought it would be forever, honestly, but it's not! Nika and I are meeting this coming Tuesday and I am EXCITED for it for the first time ever. There is no worry or stress involved. I want to see her, talk to her and give her a hug. After all, that is the LEAST I can do for her after the priceless gift she gave to me, right? I've come a long way in the last 8 1/2 years. If you are an adoptive mom, learn from my mistakes, you're child/ren will be better for it. 

What our day(amending to just the morning) looks like

The Justus pout. Same at 5 as it was back then however, it is not as cute now at all. You will have to bear with the old pictures. I am blogging from my iPad because Jonah has the laptop(oh, we'll, yes, I did break my laptop again. Jonah says I go through them faster than anything else;) He's right). This means that I can't download the pictures I have on my, er Jonah's, laptop for your enjoyment. I have a "How to Make Kefir" in pictures post planned but can't blog about it because the pictures are on my Jonah's laptop.

Anyways, back to my original thought process. Ahem.

Farm life started off nice and easy. We got some chickens. Easy peasy. We got a milk cow. Not too bad. Then we, all of the sudden, decided a WHOLE lot more cows, some pigs, ducks, a dog and a complete Hydroponic fodder system were the thing to do. While all this was quite a bit to get used to my whole, somewhat organized life went down the drain. My kids weren't getting in bed until 9:30 some nights(usually 7:30) and we would all roll out of bed whenever we felt like it. This meant chores and breakfast were sometimes not done until 10:30! When you're already that late in the day, homeschooling is not easy, at least it wasn't for us.Things were NOT working! It has taken a whole year to finally figure out how to do this and how to do it well, organized and without sacrificing my 2 and 5 year olds precious slumber needs.

One thing that has become amazingly wonderful and invaluable is the beginning of our day. Our alarms sound at 6:30 sharp(on Saturday we get to sleep until 7:30!) and we ALL have 10 minutes to make our beds, go to the restroom, get our Bibles and sit in the living room. Then, we spend the time from 6:40 until 7:15 reading the Bible(this year we've gone through Acts, Romans and are beginning 1 Corinthians and are including Proverbs each day) and in prayer. This, more than anything we've EVER done as a family, has been the most rewarding, productive and special time together. We used to do this after dinner each night. It wasn't the same. I encourage you all, start a family Bible time.

After Bible time we have 10 minutes to get chore clothes on and get outside for our chores. I go out while the littles watch PBS Kids and I check on them every so often(this is different when Jonah is home and during the summer they will come out with me). The delegation of chores is this(it all happens simultaneously):
- Mom and Alana work on pulling barley fodder out of the system together. Alana situates what to feed in the morning and night while mom washes the trays the fodder grows in and sets them aside. Alana then goes and feeds the cows while Mom finishes what needs to be done with fodder(which takes another 20 minutes or so).
- Sarah and Malakai get the milking machine ready and everything that they need and roll it out to the barn in a wagon. Kai lets the first cow(whoever wants to get milked first will just walk in the stanchion) in while Sarah gets the machine attached to the pump and gets their minerals and grain ready to be fed. They will milk one cow and then the other, which takes a total of 15 minutes. They roll the milk back to the garage where it is strained into sterile glass jars, dated and refrigerated immediately. Then, it takes them about 10 minutes to wash the milker thoroughly.
- Isaiah feeds all the cows their hay and makes sure everyone has enough water. This is a BIG job during the winter when it is freezing and we have the hoses off and covered. He has to hand haul buckets of water to satisfy 9 bovines. Anyone that is already done with their chore will help him with this as well.
- Judah feeds Cali, our dog, lets the chickens out, and throws some feed to them and the ducks. Our chickens and ducks are free range so they eat very little commercial feed. They subsist on the left overs of barley fodder from the cows, scraps from the house and kefir as well as lots of bugs and goodies around the yard.

Since this post is getting very long I will conclude with telling you that we next come into the house, make breakfast(usually oatmeal with peanut butter, honey and banana) and then spend about 30 minutes cleaning up from our morning before school starts. The day consists of school, reading aloud some amazing books, playing outside, recleaning the house and then back to chores in the evening. Evening chores are a bit less stressed since Isaiah, Alana and I do our chores around 4:30 and Sarah and Kai milk hours later. This will change as it stays lighter in the evening though. Dinner is usually at 5:30, we do some more read aloud after another clean up and then bed time for Judah, Justus and Canaan comes at 7. Sarah and Kai go out to milk then too. With the 3 littles asleep in their beds I fall on the couch to catch up with my emails.

Man, I'm tired just writing that all out! Anything else you just must know?

Play time with the sister's

What are you gonna do? He doesn't seem to mind that he has a bright pink scarf wrapped around his head, why should I?

Bullet post

As you can tell from my lack of blogging, we have been busy. Like crazy busy stuff. It seems that things always come all at once and you are left with your head swimming.

- I have been trying to post a blog post but something was wrong with my internet in that it refused to let me publish a post and I had to change it so it would work. I'm glad I finally figured it out!

- Our garden is growing great. It's just taking a really long time since we had such a late start.

- Our car that fits our whole family broke down and we were left without it for 3 days. Even though we could have gotten a rental they don't rent cars for a family of 9 so it's pointless.

- When we got back from camping we discovered that a coupling had cracked from freezing this past winter and the boy's room was all wet by the door, along the wall was saturated and it completely buckled some of our wood floors. Talk about blah!

- We have a crew working on fixing all the damage done by the water this week and are grateful for home owner's!

- My kids are great and so much fun to hang out with.

- We are STILL waiting to be able to finalize Canaan's adoption. If you would pray about that, we would really appreciate it! It is getting beyond frustrating and we just want it to be done.

- We made a turn around trip to Southern California to go to my Papa's funeral. Lots of driving...

- Jonah is working on fencing... again. This time it's for something fun though but I'm gonna keep it a secret just because I can.

- My 11 year old turned TWELVE last week. I'm still trying to wrap my head around how that one happened.

-I have no plan on starting school right now. I haven't even bought curriculum yet, yikes! Other things have been taking my time and energy(and money).

- I fall in love more and more every day with my amazing man. I am one pretty blessed woman.

Yet another miracle

Some of you long time blog stalker's may remember my brother, Kelly's, story. He is a walking miracle that survived a death sentence of a heart defect when he was born and went on to survive cancer as well. At his last body scan, he is still free of cancer, praise God. And, yes, God deserves ALL the glory.

If you would like to read my first 2 posts on that season and read more about his heart condition you can check out the links
here and here.

When he learned he had cancer, the doctor wanted to begin chemo right away and told him he needed to bank sperm because the chemo would make him sterile. This was something that was hard for me, as I know just too well the heartache of infertility and I didn't want my little brother and his sweet wife to have to face that as well as cancer.

Fast forward 2 1/2 years and he and his wife Laura are pregnant with no intervention at all. Miracle. Time and time again Kelly has defied the odds and proven that a doctor's words, no matter how horrible, are nothing for God. Our God is GOOD!

The concensus

Despite not being sure that everything would fit,



Despite an inflatable mattress that lost all it's air the first night,



despite never being warm at night(Jonah and I) and realizing we desperately need sleep pads and sleeping bags,



despite a child who woke up screaming and scared of bears every.single.night,



despite a baby who was teething and only wanted to nurse all night long,



despite a Mommy who got sick one night and was throwing up in the dark of the forest and then tromping to the out house WITH a teething, crying baby strapped to her back,



despite said Mommy deciding to drive the hour home the following night to sleep in her own bed and recover and then driving back the next morning,



Despite the mountains of laundry we came home with that will take days to get caught up on.



despite so many more things that would try hard to make this trip a failure we had SO. MUCH. FUN!



Isaiah caught and reeled in his very first fish and it was a biggie!

We hiked up to a waterfall and the kids all dunked themselves in the snow melt water. Brrrr.


Isaiah, Sarah and Kai ate fish eye balls


Pop it in and suck it good. Mmmmm. (not)



We made banana boats in the fire, pita pizzas and ate 'mud and worms'.

We took family walks each night.



Jonah and I came to a new realization of just how much we enjoy our kids.

They are some truly, amazingly great and fabulous kids who make us laugh, work hard and are adventurous.



We swam and bathed in the lake.

We ate lots of sugar and goodies.



We have decided that we will make this trip a yearly tradition for the Winger household and the kids were very excited about that.



I must say that all my anxiety about this trip was for nothing. It was THE most fun I've had in a while with my husband and kids.

The craziness

I've come to realize that tent camping for a week with 7 young kids is not all it's cracked up to be. We haven't even left yet and I'm sitting here wondering what on earth I am doing. Our supply list is, literally, 5 pages long and that doesn't include all the clothes and bathroom items we need to pack. How in the world are we going to fit it all in anyways? Hahaha, this is going to be interesting.

One thing I've concluded? I'd really like to have one of those big buses like the Duggar's have to go camping in. Or, maybe just a trailer will do. Just having a refridgerator and a kitchen would be SO wonderful. Oh, and a toilet close by and without flies would be good too. And maybe a shower?

Honestly though, I'm looking forward to the quality time with my family and just relaxing without any of the "noise" from home. Too, living on the land and having really dirty kids at the end of each day has somewhat "toughened" me up. Two years ago and I would have been much worse about it all. Now, I'm kind of looking forward to it all. Kind of.

Springtime fun

On Thursday we had a gorgeous, warm and perfect day. The kids and I headed out to the garden to do some planting and play in the yummy dirt. We had SO much fun planting, talking and getting each other wet. The boys ended up running around in their underwear and the girls changed into their suits. It was a really great day and we were excited at the prospect of seeing our first shoots emerge in a few weeks.









Yesterday, we woke up to 6 inches of SNOW on the ground and I think we may have to just plant the seeds over again for fear that they are done with. No, it was not forcasted. It's fine though, as we had a lot of fun and we are hoping Jonah will be there this time to join in!

"Me" time

Someone asked me how I get "me" time as a mom of so many. I am probably going to push some buttons here and offend some people. No big deal, it's my opinion, and you are all entitled to yours. ;)

I think believing we need "me" time is all about selfishness. Our culture has bred, and continues to breed, the thought that everything is about "ME!".

What can you give "me"?

How will this benefit "me"?

When will it be about "me"?

When can I have time for just "me"?

Me, me, me, me, me.

Not only is this way of thinking detrimental to us as mother's and wives, it also is NOT the way that Christ wants us to be! As a Christian, we look to Christ as our perfect example and he was so far from selfish and about the "me" attitude as any one can be! Yes, he went off by himself to pray and be alone, this kind of "me" time is not what I am talking about. We do need to spend time alone with God and in prayer. What I am talking about is the "me" time out with the "girls" every week or making a pedicure, massage, etc. a necessity instead of just a once-in-a-great-while thing. I am addressing the "me" time when we put our desires first instead of our spouse and children.

Instead of asking yourself how you can get "me" time each week, we should be focusing on these precious gifts that God is allowing us to raise. We have them for such a short time, make it count! Push away the selfishness of this world, believing you "need" x amount of time away every day/week and pray for God to give you the strength you need to get to bedtime, if that's where you're at. My children go to bed at 7(Sarah at 8). This leaves me about 2 hours of time alone or with my husband when he's home. It's precious time that I cherish spending with Sarah and/or Jonah.

If you can't handle all day with your children, make a time in the middle of the day to schedule a "quiet time" for an hour where you can go in your room, pray, just relax, catch your breath, whatever. Then, get to the training you have neglected along the way that has made you not like being around your kids! When I neglect staying consistent with my kids I find I get overly frustrated with them! However, it's only my own fault for allowing them to be naughty without correcting them.

Anyone who knows me well, will know that I love my "alone" time and always have but that doesn't mean I "need" it or seek it out. I very rarely do anything alone, I am always bringing at least one child with me and usually a few when I go places and I cherish those times. When you choose to have children, you are pretty much choosing to forgo "me" time until those children are out of the house. Yes, there will be times when you have some time for "me" but I don't think it's a necessity. I also have the same thoughts about "me" time in a marriage. Yes, there will be times and opportunities to have those times alone but it's not a necessity. I know some people who have "girls night out" every week and not a date night. Putting your friends and "me" time ahead of your marriage will only result in divorce. Take the time to be alone when you can but don't make it a priority in your life.

As a side note, there may be times that you are overwhelmed with being a mommy and all that comes with that. I think that's normal. For some women, however, this may lead to depression and maybe anger issues. If you think that is you, do what you need to do to make yourself healthy and whole for your children and husband first.

These children

These children make my heart swollen with love.





These children are pieces of my heart in human form. Sigh.



These children will never understand what a gift they are to me. Ever.


These children make me smile. They make me happy. They make me laugh.



And this baby? Oh my! Look at that face! And that hair! There are no words.

Life in bullets

Canaan is 5 months old and just as cute as can be!

He is a chubby, smiley, happy baby and we continue to adore him.

The day he turned 5 months old I felt he needed a bit more than what I was producing and so I started giving him 2 oz. of formula in the evenings.

The day he turned 5 months old he started sleeping really well at night.

We have all been sick for the past few weeks which has kept us away from church. Of course, this happens right when the series is something we were really excited to hear.

I just turned 33.

33 is really old, according to my 6 year old who is afraid I might just die of old age sometime really soon.

My parents, brother, sister-in-love and niece are coming for Christmas.

It's my brother and his families first time seeing our land and house.

It will be our first Christmas in our new house with 14 people in our tiny 1200 sq ft. Not to mention my in-laws will be joining us the day of, so make that 16.

We are imagining a warm, crackling fire, coffee, peace and quiet in the middle of the forest.

I think we may be a bit crazy that that may happen with 8 children in the house, 7 of whom are under 7.

Did I mention my brother and parents are coming for Christmas? I'm really excited.

Did I also mention that there will be 6 adults and 8 children in a 1200 sq ft. house for 4 days?

After having serious knee problems for the past 2 years I finally decided to go get it checked out.(btw, I have had 2 knee surgeries 15 years ago)

I have a lateral meniscus tear that will probably need surgery. Fun, right?

For the first time I will be doing all of Thanksgiving by myself.

It will just be Jonah and I and the kids this year so there's not so much pressure to make everything perfect.

It is a week before Thanksgiving and I haven't even given thought to what I am making.

Maybe I'll make enchiladas.

I like to live on the edge.

Fall

Fall has finally come and just as quickly has disappeared today(it was 83). But it's good. I know it will come back soon.





Jonah is on "vacation" right now and we have lots of really fun field trips planned for us as a family while he's home. Our first one took us to an apple orchard where the kids loved running through the apple trees. We took lots of pictures, had lots of yummy goodies and, of course, bought apples.

Menu Planning

When I was growing up I remember clearly that my mom often drove us home from school asking herself, "What am I going to make for dinner?" If you know my mom, you will know she is ultra organized and a clean freak but she never had much of a plan for dinners most of the time.

I love you mom, but that's what I remember. BBQ chicken anyone?

ETA: I must say that my mom always made homemade meals every night. We very rarely went out to dinner and her meals were always delicious!

There were plenty of times when she did but not most of the time. This is something that I just cannot do, it seems, with 7 kids and a very big, burly, hungry husband.

I am going to tell you how I organize my dinners and, be prepared, this is going to be so easy, you won't know why you didn't do it earlier. Yes, it does take quite a bit of set-up before hand to actually get your menu settled and chosen but once that is done all that needs to be done is some typing or copying and pasting from the net.

Most of you, I am sure, have a recipe box where you keep your recipes, right? Get that out and go through it and sort. Pull out ALL the things you have tried already that your family has really liked. What is the point of choosing things that your husband doesn't particularly like? There are plenty of recipes that are in my box that didn't make it to the list. That's OK. Don't feel like you need to include everything.

For me, I have 35 different recipes. You may have only 15 or less. If this is the case you may want to spend a few weeks doing some cooking experiments with dinners while keeping a tally of the things you really like to include in your list. If you don't say, "Wow, that's yummy!" then don't put it on your list. Check out some really yummy food blogs. My favorite is The Pioneer Woman and you must, must, must make her Sesame Noodles. I'll talk about those a bit later.

Once you have pulled, or found online, your recipes you're going to write all the names down on a sheet of paper. It doesn't matter what kind of paper it is, just a piece that will fit all the names of the recipes you have chosen. Make sure you make a note of where the recipe was found cause you will need to find it in the final step.

Once they are written down, get another sheet of paper(again, it doesn't matter what kind or whether it has 2 year old hand prints all over it) and make a list alternating recipes while checking off the recipes from the original sheet. Clear as mud? I usually try to choose a soup, a beef dish, a chicken dish and a Mexican or Italian dish. I only have to make dinners 4 nights a week because of Jonah's schedule. Don't hate me because I get to stay home with 7 kids for 72 hours alone every week. Really, don't.

Once you have your final list in the order you want them hop on your computer for some typing time. All you are going to do is start a Word document and type all your recipes in the order you want them(which you should have already done on that 2-year-old-hand-print-sheet-of-paper). You are going to include the name of the dish, followed by ALL the ingredients you need to make it and then the recipe itself. This way, when grocery day is coming around you can hop on the computer and see what the next 4 recipes are and write down the ingredients needed. No thinking needed!


Then on cooking day you hop back on the computer and follow the recipe(if you have a laptop). For a long time I only had a big behemoth computer and so I printed out the recipe list and kept it in a folder. I am happy with only using the computer now as I never could seem to keep track of the folder or the pages ended up with sticky sauce all over.

This is what a recipe might look like:

Cranberry Chicken
- 6 Chicken Breasts - 2 bottles french dressing - 2 packets onion soup mix
- 2 cans whole cranberry sauce - 4 cups dry rice

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Cut chicken breasts into bite size chunks and put into a large Pyrex dish. In a medium sized bowl mix the rest of the ingredients and then pour over chicken. Cover with foil tightly! Bake for an hour and 15 minutes or until chicken is done. Serve over rice.


There, I've gone and given you my kids very favorite dinner. The most simple one I have and one I wish I could make every week just because it is SO easy. Please don't make 4 cups of rice if you are a normal size family cause you'll be eating the leftovers for weeks. We almost finish it all and because of Justus' allergy issues he eats rice every day with lunch or dinner. We always make a full pot when we make rice.

Then you would follow this recipe by the next in the list and so on.

Now, you may ask, what do we do for the 3 days that Jonah is gone at work? Well, I make things very simple and very cheap. I figure the kids aren't picky and it's a way I can save funds to make better dinners when Jonah is home. We have the same 3 recipes every week and the kids absolutely love them.
1) Quesadillas with sour cream and salsa
2) Sesame Noodles (check the website I linked above)
3) Pinto beans and rice. This is a crock pot recipe that is SO good and so simple. We serve it with butter, white vinegar and Sriracha to give it some spice. My kids like spicy things.


OK, one last thing for you. Once you learn your menu well you will know the main ingredients that are needed and be able to buy them ONLY when they are on sale. We use a lot of diced green chiles in many of our dishes. ANY TIME I see them on sale, I buy a bunch, that way I will never need to buy it at full price. Each time I go to the store I puruse the aisles to see if there is anything I know I use that is on sale. If it is, I snatch it up and put it in my pantry for when it's needed.

Easy enough? I hope this helps someone with menu planning!

And I hope you think it's as easy as I do.

A day at the river

There is a river about a mile and a half from our house by road (it's much closer if you walk down the back of our property) that we have been taking the kids too. They love going and playing in the water and just cooling off. Out here in the middle of no-where, it's the thing to do for big families who don't want to drive more than 30 minutes to have some summer fun;) Eventually, we would like to have a pool but for now, this works great!